Building a Village

281927_10152257824083543_1996863967426229637_nThe other day I read an article about missing the village I never had and it resonated with me. Daily I feel the pull, the desire for communal living, for raising children side by side, for a shoulder to cry on and a friend to laugh with. While the article put words to an emotion so deep within me, it also made me feel so blessed. I am blessed to have a village surrounding me and I am forever grateful for it.

I can’t even begin to truly describe my village. It’s so complex yet so simple. It’s beautiful. It’s love. It’s learning. It’s sharing. It’s there.

Here’s a glimpse of my village.

My village has a leader. She is a beautiful, experienced Mama with deep wisdom and a nurturing soul. She regularly opens up her space for all of us to gather. She nourishes and feeds us, both body and soul. She empowers us and guides us and gives us the blessing of time to sit, to ponder, to learn, to grow…together. And it’s there, in a safe space, that I’ve formed deep connections with other Mamas on this same journey. Mamas who are woven together, making up my village. Mamas who care about each other enough to take the time to answer questions on our Facebook group. Mamas who also go beyond that and take the time to text or call to follow up with one another. And who make the effort to open their own space to gather, for play dates and lunches. Mamas who take the time to just be…together. Talking about day to day trials and triumphs. Sharing what has worked for them but also being raw and open, sharing too what has epically failed.

But my village is deeper than that. It’s more than Facebook and play dates. Within the interior of my village, I have dear, dear friends…a small handful of Mamas who I especially cherish. Mamas who would go to the ends of the earth and back again for one another. Mamas who strip diapers for each other when HE machines wreck havoc. Mamas who get on hands and knees to wash another’s floor just because it could use it. Mamas who borrow cars, or clothes, or toys. Mamas who watch each others children without giving it a second thought, without keeping tabs on hour for hour. Mamas who insist each other do a little self care…like seriously, here’s the number, leave the kid, go get your haircut! Mamas who cook meals when they know things are a little rough at home. Mamas who share tea and tears and lots of love. And Mamas who aren’t afraid to give each other a nice little kick in the rump when it’s needed most.

And here is where I am truly most blessed. I am so blessed to have these Mamas in my life. Mamas who I know I could call on any given day to ask any favor, knowing they would do their very best to help anyway they could. Mamas who know full well that there’s a generous circle of return. Mamas who are so emotionally connected they get it without even needing to say a word.

I am blessed by my village. My complex, beautiful village. But it didn’t happen overnight. It took time and intention to build my village. It took weeks and months and in some cases years to build that level of trust, dependency, and intimacy. But it happened. I built my village. Well I guess I can’t really say I built my village because in many ways it was there all along. I joined it, grew into it, morphed with it. But in my mind I had to build it, accept it, trust it.

I built my village, now go build yours!


***A sincere thank-you to all the Mamas who are part of my village. This journey would not be the same without you. Know you are loved and appreciated! xoxo***

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